Interviewing Nerves: How To Calm Them To Help You Succeed
I will never forget a person that I interviewed for a job. I will call him “Bill.” He was sitting in the reception area. When I came to pick him up to take him to my office for the interview, I could see he was nervous. I started asking him a few icebreaker questions, like, “How was your commute to the office?” to get him talking and feeling less stressed. He answered me, but it did not appear to calm him down. We started into the meat of the interview, and I could see his hands visually shaking. I felt terrible for him, and I knew he would ruin his chance if he couldn’t calm down. So I said to him the following:
“I can see that you are nervous about our interview. It is natural, and many people that sit in that chair feel the same as you. Please think of this as a conversation we are having and not an interrogation. I want to know more about you, and the best way for me to do so is to ask you questions. So all I am expecting is that you do your best.”
I could see his demeanor change right away. He let out an audible breath, and his body grew less tense. He stopped shaking and even smiled. And he did fine with the rest of the interview. I was so glad that I addressed the elephant in the room.
Had he not finally relaxed, his nerves could have derailed the interview. I know taming those nerves is easier said than done. That is why I am providing you with tips to calm yourself before an interview. That way, you can project confidence and better demonstrate the value you offer.
How to Calm Your Mind
I was interviewing for a promotion within my organization. I had worked with everyone that was part of the interview panel. Yet, I still found myself nervous. An hour before the interview, I could feel my blood pressure rise and my perspiration increase (thank goodness for my double layer of deodorant that day!). I used many of the following tips to calm myself down. They really work. When I went into the conference room, I felt in control, confident, and energized. And I got the job!
Psychological and Reframing
First, when you feel nervous, don’t immediately think of this as a bad thing. Your body would not react in this way if you did not believe this interview was important. Nerves do have a purpose. Your body is good about letting you know when it is about to enter a situation that it feels may be threatening.
While we know an interview is not physically threatening, our flight or fight response starts kicking in. If you feel you might be verbally attacked in the discussion or made to feel inadequate, this can cause your body to prepare you for what might occur. Your heart starts beating faster to pump more blood, and your breathing might get faster to provide you with even more oxygen.
The good thing is we all know that this is a temporary biological response. It will go away. It is best if it goes away before the interview starts.
Don’t Aim for Perfection
Many people put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect in the interview. That is an unrealistic expectation. Plus, as someone that has conducted over 1,000 interviews in my recruitment career, I do not know that I ever have seen a perfect interviewee. But that was never my expectation. I expected to learn about the candidate—the real person and not a bot. Be who you are. Give the best answers that YOU can. People do well in an interview when they show who they are and sell why they would be great on the team. Perfection is not needed to do that.
Reframing From an Interrogation to a Conversation
I will admit that some interviewers can make the interview feel like an interrogation with rapid-fire questions with no warmth behind them (which should be a red flag, by the way). Most interviewers do not conduct their interviews that way, though. Reframe this questioning into having a conversation. There is a give and take in a normal conversation, each side talking, asking questions, and conveying information. You are there to convince the other person or people that you are the best qualified for the role. Do you have to convince people in your life to do things for you? Sure. But do you think of them as anything other than a conversation? I doubt it. Don’t think of an interview any differently.
You Can Only Control How You Respond, Not What Is Asked
Many people get nervous thinking about all the questions they might be asked. Well, you have no control over what is being asked or why anything is being asked. I once was in an interview for an HR Manager position, and I was asked many questions about the company’s financials. Frankly, I was confused since these were questions not commonly asked in an HR Manager interview. But the interviewer was free to ask any question he wanted (as long s they were not illegal). My job was to provide an answer (or, in this case, say I didn’t know the information but assure him that if the job required I be conversant about this information, I would make sure to do so). When you realize you cannot control what you are questioned about, it can make you feel better since the control is in you to answer whatever is thrown at you as best as possible.
Remind Yourself of Your Value
Except for rare circumstances like a courtesy interview, they selected you for an interview because someone told them or they saw your resume/CV and found your experience/skills to be of value. Time is a precious resource for any organization. No one wants to waste it, especially a business. A talent acquisition professional or hiring manager could be doing many other activities, yet they felt that you were worthy of their time. Take that as a compliment. You may have much to offer this employer. Remind yourself of it and how lucky they would be to have you as an employee. Coming into the interview with confidence in your abilities can help calm those nerves.
Actions to Take That Can Also Calm Your Nerves
You may find it helpful combining mental shifts and reframing with physical activities to lower your nervousness. Here are a few that may help.
Pet a Dog or Cat
Some studies show that dogs can lower blood pressure when people find themselves in a stressful situation. With many interviews now being conducted through the phone or virtually, you may be able to pet your animal before your interview and if your animal is well-behaved, even have them sit close to you. Interacting with your pet can increase the levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that are sometimes known as the brain’s happiness chemicals.
Try to Make Sure You Have Something in Your Stomach
When I would get nervous, one of my body’s responses was not to want to eat. Some foods can boost your level of serotonin, and others can reduce cortisol and adrenaline levels in your body. Eating healthy foods can help regulate your blood pressure. While a bag of potato chips or a donut might feel comforting, foods rich with complex carbohydrates, nuts, or raw vegetables are better choices. Plus, with something in your stomach, you do not have to be embarrassed if a loud rumbling emanates from your stomach during an interview.
Light Physical Activity Can Be Calming
We all know that physical activity can flood your body with endorphins, which can bring a feeling of pleasure and well-being. While you may not want to get sweaty right before your interview, taking a walk or stretching can also help you reduce your nerves and help you to be better focused, a plus during any interview. And, especially if the weather is nice, a little fresh air and sunshine can never hurt.
Sleep Is Your Friend
When you are feeling a bit nervous, I know that getting adequate sleep may be challenging. But try anyway. The night before a big interview, instead of staying up late to do last-minute research on the company, your time may be better spent getting a good night’s sleep. Adequate sleep helps us have better judgment and memory and be more positive, all helpful in an interview. So the night before a big interview, make a plan to get off your computer and go to bed early. You will feel better and likely do better in your interview.
Meditation and Deep Breathing Exercises
Deep breathing, which is slowing your breaths and the intake of more air than usual, signals your brain to become calmer. When I was waiting for an interview to start, I would always take deep breaths, and it always lessened the nerves I felt and helped me feel more in control. Many people practice mediation, and meditation can also be helpful to tamp down nerves.
Listen to Music
If you have ever been to a spa, you probably heard slow, instrumental music in the background. It is there for a reason. Dr. Brent Bauer, research director for the Integrative Medicine Program at the Mayo Clinic, has found that relaxing music and sounds of nature may ease tension and even pain. But if slow music won’t interest you, pick something that you find pleasant and brings you joy. Songs with a message of empowerment or confidence could help you feel less nervous and more in control.
Limit Coffee and Caffeine
If you need your morning cup of joe to feel awake and alert, go for it. Just do not overdo it. That third cup of coffee may be more of a curse than a blessing. Excess caffeine can cause jitters, which you do not need if you are already feeling nervous. As they say, you should do everything in moderation.
Talk to Someone About How You Are Feeling
Sometimes the best thing to do is to speak with someone about how you feel. Choose wisely, though. Someone who will only discount how you feel may not be that helpful. But a family member or friend who can listen to you and who can potentially calm you by providing feedback on the difference between actual and imaginary fears can help lower your stress. Plus, it could be a confidence boost to have someone remind you of all you can offer to a new employer, especially if your nerves are getting the way of seeing this.
Practice and Prepare
One of the best ways to curb your nerves before an interview is to practice what you want to answer when posed questions. There is a lot of information on the internet about common questions asked in an interview. Look through the questions and practice how you would answer them. The first time you try answering a question, it might sound a bit awkward, but your delivery will be better with practice.
Learn more about what Recruiters will commonly ask about in a screening interview
Don’t only practice how to answer questions. Prepare questions you might want to ask the interviewer at the end of your time together. If you have a list of at least five questions written down, you do not need to panic if the interviewer answers any of your questions during the interview. You will have backup questions prepared to ask.
Conclusion
Most people are a bit nervous when it comes to being interviewed. Nerves are not necessarily a bad thing. It is telling you that you are putting importance to your meeting. What you do not want to do is to have your nerves derail your interview. Choose one or more of these techniques to help you tame your nerves, so you can show how awesome you are to this prospective employer.
Shelley Piedmont is a job search coach. She wants to help job seekers put their best foot forward by providing the tools for a successful job search. If you need career coaching, resume preparation, interview skills assessment, or LinkedIn profile assistance, she can help. Schedule a 15-minute no-obligation consultation.
